Oh man. Where to begin.

So, the lineup this year was pretty epic, including the likes of Jennifer Egan, Joyce Carol Oates, Myla Goldberg, John Sayles, Tea Obreht, A.M. Homes, Nicole Krauss, JSF, Seth Fried, Sam Lipsyte, Emma Straub, Jim Shepard, Karen Russell, Carmela Ciuraru, Jonathan Dee, Evan Hughes and Jhumpa Lahiri. The problem: since so many fantastic authors were reading at the same time, how was I supposed to decide who to see?

I decided to go for a mixture of upcoming authors and big names, none of whom I’ve seen before. And of course, I had to attend the afterparty—as everyone knows, writers love their whisky.

11 A.M. Coffee in hand, a friend and I headed down to Borough Hall. We attended one of the earlier events of the day: a panel of debut novelists (aptly entitled “Who? New!”). The festival’s picks included Peter Mountford (A Young Man’s Guide to Late Capitalism), Barbara Browning (The Correspondence Artist), Haley Tanner (Vaclav & Lena) and Samuel Park (This Burns My Heart), all of whom were introduced by Téa Obreht (The Tiger’s Wife). After reading from their books, they answered a few questions from the audience.

My fave part was when they were asked about their research methods. Peter admitted to joining a “corrupt” right-wing think tank (“I don’t know what the hell I was thinking; I was just happy not to be flipping burgers). They for whatever reason sent him to Equador, where he fell in love with South America and decided to set his book there. Haley Tanner got a lot of material from tutoring Russian kids in Brighton Beach, but warned that too much willful research is just another word for procrastination. And Samuel Park, whose book is about post-war South Korea, called himself a “bad Korean” who got info from calling his mom, as well as watching Korean movies that were shot in the 60’s.

2:00 P.M. In the afternoon I saw Jonathan Safran Foer (Eating Animals, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close) Joyce Carol Oates (A Widow’s Story, Sourland) and Nina Revoyr (Wingshooter), in a panel moderated by Brigid Hughes. And again I shall repeat: Joyce Carol Oates! I’ve always wanted to see her, both because I love her work, and because she seems a bit…out there. She was. It was kind of hilarious to see her chatting with JSF before the panel began…what on earth could they have been discussing? (UPDATE: A friend reminded me that JSF actually studied under JCO, and that she helped launch his career…so probably lots of stuff.) JSF read his short story “Here We Are So Quickly,” and then Nina Revoyr read a passage from her book (about a half-Japanese girl growing up in WI).

Ms. Oates, dressed in a high-necked red blouse and a large gold necklace, then took the podium. She announced that she was going to read “ID,” a story from the POV of a 13-year-old girl. Forty minutes of reading later, audience members were starting to sneak out or nod off, but I remained completely enthralled. It was like…I don’t know, seeing Bowie live or something. An experience to remember. Joyce even choked up at the end, having gotten so deeply into her character’s psyche. Afterward, the audience was asked to save questions for the signing table. Some grumbled about Joyce’s rudeness for taking up everyone’s time, but since I’d gone to see her in the first place, I had no complaints.

4:00 P.M. Late afternoon—time to see Larry McMurtry and his co-screenwriter Diana Ossana discuss Hollywood. Larry has written 35 screenplays with Diana, including “Brokeback Mountain.” Many of these were based on his own books, which include Lonesome Dove and The Last Picture Show. Larry was quite soft-spoken (Diana: “He mumbles, he’s famous for that”) but often slyly hilarious (sample: “I’ve been writing movies for fifty years. On one hand, it’s impressive. On the other hand…ominous.”) Diana, the only screenwriter who has partnered with Larry for more than one movie, had a theory on their long lasting relationship: “He’s cantankerous, I’m relentless. Maybe that’s why it works.” The two met, in McMurtry-like style, at a catfish restaurant in Tucson.

As for “Brokeback Mountain,” Larry called it “the one truly good thing we’ve done.” After writing it, they apparently searched for producers for eight years (!). Knowing that star power is the sole method producers use to finance productions, they fought to get Heath Ledger. (When watching him in “Monster’s Ball,” Larry got up and left after his character’s departure: “What was the point? He was no longer onscreen.”) Larry said that his ability to draw actors is the secret behind his 13 Oscar’s: “I write characters that actors want to play.”

5:00 P.M. I couldn’t miss the chance to see bizarre English artist/author David Shrigley. This event was basically David drawing on people, including the editor of Tin House, Robert Spillman. The two played off each other well. (Robert, holding out his arm: “Don’t think too hard about it.” David: “Hey, that’s actually my tattooing mantra!”) In case anyone’s interested in checking him out, he’ll be at Word tonight.

9:00 P.M. The infamous afterparty. I have two things to say about that. First, somehow the Fest folks got the Tokens to play. Who are the The Tokens, you ask? Oh, only the 60’s doo wop group that originally sang “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” Now, you might not care about this song per se, or might even think it’s kind of annoying, but once that falsetto begins to climb, backed by the catchy blast of repeated “a wimoweh”…well, let’s just say it’s impossible not to sing along.

Secondly: Colson Whitehead. The man can dance.